Steve Irwin Facts

Steve Irwin invented the nervous system just so animals could feel pain.

Steve Irwin once made an Elephant forget.

Every time you jerk-off, Steve Irwin kills a crocodile. Not because you jerked-off; that's just how often he kills crocodiles.

Steve Irwin wasn't born in the womb - he thought that was for pussies.

The best weapon in Halo 2 is Steve Irwin.

One time Steve Irwin was walking along the beach and found a genie. He gave the genie three wishes. The genie wished it was Steve Irwin. Three times.

Steve Irwin once mated with a crocodile and had a child. That child grew up to be Chuck Norris.

When Steve Irwin swims with sharks, the steel cage is not there to keep Steve Irwin safe from the sharks. It is there to keep the sharks safe from Steve Irwin.

After Crocodile Dundee pulled out a knife and said the famous line "That's not a knife, this is a knife", the only reason people were scared was because Steve Irwin was standing right behind him.

When Steve Irwin plays monopoly, he collects free parking no matter what square he lands on. When he draws the 'Go Directly to Jail' card, he just laughs and rips it up. No one questions him. No one.

Steve Irwin's favorite drink is GATORade.

When Steve Irwin approached the Gates of Hades, he took the giant 3-headed dog, grabbed it, wrestled it to the ground, beat it into submission and hog tied it. Then, he let the pissed off dog go free and did it all again for fun. Thirty-Seven times.

If you don't know who your real father is, it's Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin wrote Beowulf.

Aussie band Savage Garden will perform at Croc Hunters funeral. First choice was Sting but was decided inappropriate.

When Steve Irwin was a child, his friends were skipping stones out on the lake. Steve Irwin thought that game was stupid, so he picked up the biggest rock he could find and hurled it into the sky. That rock is now called The Moon.

Steve Irwin once got a blowjob from a crocodile. After that no woman was ever able to compare, no matter how toothy the BJ was.

Steve Irwin was killed when his heart was pierced by a deadly sting ray. The stingray was also killed when, in his final living action, Steve Irwin took revenge on the stingray by piercing its heart with his penis.

Steve Irwin and the Grizzly Man once double teamed a bear. Steve took the front and Grizzly took the back. They Eiffel towered the bear.

Tom Cruise believes in Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin died as he lived, with animals firmly in his heart.

As a child, Steve Irwin played hungry hungry hippos... with real hippos.

One time, Steve Irwin went to the bar to play a game of pool. Upon arrival at the bar, he saw it wasn't a real pool. There was no water, and definately no crocodiles. In his confusion and rage, he killed everyone including a crocodile. Which is impossible, until you remember this *IS* Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin once rewrote the complete works of William Shakespeare with ink from a giant squid. When he was done writing he killed and ate the squid for breakfast.

During the 1992 Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain Steve Irwin successfully stopped the bulls from running and replaced them with himself, accidentally killing two American tourist in his lone stampede.

-From www.superawesomewow.com