Sexual Maneuvers

I'm sure you've heard quite a few of these and possibly even know someone who has performed one of them.  I only know one of these that has actually been performed by someone I know.  For the most part they are all bullshit, but they're still good for a laugh.  This list of maneuvers has been compiled by some of my friends, the internet, and movies.  If you have a good one to submit let me know and I'll put it up (anonymously if requested).

In no particular order:

Name:  Hot Carl
Originally heard from: ???
Description: You shit on your another's face who is sporting a piece of saran wrap over it.
Variations:
Sloppy Carlson:  Occurs when the loaf is hot and runny (diarrhea) and forces a hole through the saran wrap

Name:  Spiderman
Originally heard from: Jeff Lenius
Description:  When a girl is going down on you, and just before you climax you pull out of her mouth and nut in your own hand. Then fling the cum in her face, as you jump to your feet, making sure to properly mimic Spiderman's web slinging hand motions. Now stand in a position of bravery, and power like any superhero would.

Name:  Cherry Cheesecake
Originally heard from: Movie The Aristocrats
Description:  You give a chick a facial, then punch her in the nose so it gives her a bloody nose.

Name:  Rusty Trombone
Originally heard from: Movie The Aristocrats
Description:  Get a rim job whilst receiving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.

Name:  Bull Ride
Originally heard from: RA Mike (Sophomore year of college)
Description:  When you and your friends bring some girls home from the bar and then one of you takes one of them into the room. Once they know you starting banging her from behind they bust into the room and you have to hold on for as long as you can.
Variations:  Have the friends hide in the closet.  As soon as you say the girl's sister or best friends name while doing her from behind the friends jump out of the closet with a stop watch and count to 8...to get the full 8 seconds is a full ride.

Name:  Furious Dragon
Aliases: Angry Dragon
Originally heard from: Joe "9 Milla" Miletich
Description:  When a girl goes down on a guy and the guy is about to blow his load in her mouth he pulls her head down hard (or she pushed down on her own) he comes so hard in the back of her throat that cum spews out her nose giving the steaming nostril look of a dragon.

Name:  Hoover Maneuver
Aliases: The Bulldozer
Originally heard from: Matt Schulte/Bulkoff
Description:  Having sex with the girl from behind, then while in the same position grab her arms from underneath her, causing her to fall face forward into the carpet or bed, then move here face back and forth using her arms as if she were a vacuum (for the bulldozer you make "vroom vroom" type engine noises).

Name:  Flaming Phoenix
Originally heard from: Matt Schulte
Description:  While having sex doggy style the guy pulls out and blows it on the girls back, then lights it on fire.

Name:  Houdini
Originally heard from: Jeff Lenius
Description: When having sex doggy style, when the guy is about to cum, he pulls out and then spits on the girls back so that she turns around, and blows it right in her eye.

Name:  Hot Plate
Originally heard from: ???
Description:  Place saran wrap on another person, then poo on it. (It's more sanitary)

Name:  Dirty Sanchez
Originally heard from: ???
Description: After having anal sex, the man pulls out his penis and wipes it across his partners lip, forming an authentic looking Mexican moustache.

Name:  Dolphin
Originally heard from: RA Mike (Sophomore year of college)
Description:  While having sex doggy style you slip out and attempt to enter the anus doggy style and she reels her head back with a dolphin like "en en"

Name: Cleveland Steamer
Originally heard from: ???
Description:  Poo on the another's chest 

Name: Boston Steamer
Originally heard from: ???
Description:  Poo on the another's face 

Name: Chili Dog
Originally heard from: Danimial
Description:  A man defecates between a woman's breasts and then proceeds to tit fuck using the waste as a lubricant. The penis is the hot dog the shit the chili and of course the breasts are the buns.

Submitted 4/18/06
Name: Angry Pirate
Submitted by: Joe
Description: "You bust a nut right in the girl's eye making her cover it like a patch, then you kick her in the shin which makes her hop around on one leg saying AAAARRGGGHHH!!!"

Submitted: 5/15/06
Name: Hair Dresser
Submitted by: Jeff Lenius
Description: "Doing a girl and right before you cum you blow it in your hands.  Then you massage it into her hair, hair dresser style so it gets all sticky."

Submitted: 10/12/06
Name: Johnny Hancock
Submitted by: Joe on behalf of The Andy and Nick
Description: "You pull out and blow your load in the girls belly button then use the belly button as an ink well and your cock as a pen and sign your masterpiece" 
Shit watch out for piercings!

Submissions welcomed, e-mail me: Tom@HawkeyeTom.com
 

*Some official definitions were referenced from Urbandictionary.com