HawkeyeTom.com v2.0

Today in Rock History a young Jon Schulte was born.

Today in 1984 that Jon made an entrance into this great world. His parents, D-Man and Babbs, knew that they had something special when their young child threw his baby bottle on the floor and reached for his dad’s Miller Lite instead. Again and again he would spit out the teat he was given and cry until a Miller Lite was in his hands.

Records of Jon’s younger years are scarce and inconclusive, suspects believe that much pot was smoked with a questionable character that had an alias of “The Snake.” Due to his extreme love of alcohol and pot he’s unable recite any information prior to the age of 18 when he came into contact with a great group of guys.

These guys, Tom, Andy, Jim, Ruger and Ryley, became great friends with Jon as “The Snake” began to slowly fade away into Guppie’s darkness. Upon first glance Jon was a frightening young man, strange letters tattooed on each shoulder, tall, lanky, and always without a shirt. Just all around goofy looking from head to Timberland, this apparently is how they grow their volleyball players in the north. Soon these guys were able to get over his odd looks and took him in as one of their own. They even let him to win a few MarioKart 64 races just to boost his self esteem (he really did suck at Kart). It was only then, Jon’s freshman year at the University of Iowa, did he really fall into his alcohol paradise. Being young and binge drinking is what underage college kids do in Iowa City (see here).

While there are picture and video records of Jon’s existence throughout college, eye witness information is very spotty at best. As it turns out Jon brought his love of alcohol to a new level in Iowa City and he took a number of his new friends down that rode with him. There are reports of him attempting to eat a 40 oz steak, breaking dorm ceiling tiles, peeing in gas grills, getting a friend stoned and forcing him to eat an entire box of wheat thins, case races, beer bonging bloody marys (with ice and pickle)…the allegations go on and on my friends.

Jon’s latter years in college showed some prospect as he took up playing the bongo with his friends Jim and Ruger. He quickly became the entertainment of the town on Friday afternoons at College Street Billiards FAC shows. Unfortunately only a few gigs later did the two fun haters of the band decide to cut their losses let Jon walk down the alcoholic road alone. Maybe it was the baby talk, maybe it was his old man walk, or it could have even been his purple polo shirt and white gym shorts, we may never know what pushed his band mates over the edge.

Luckily Jon was able to salvage a Bachelor’s degree in English from the University of Iowa (yeah, not much) after the tornado of the Roogs band left Iowa City forever. He packed up his belongings and headed back to his hometown of Killwaukee (Milwaukee to the layman). How do you make the most of an English degree from a Big Ten University? He began selling office furniture. Every day he somehow manages to overcome his alcoholism and has literally become the Furniture King of Milwaukee. That’s just the beginning of his successes in Killwaukee, he also knows all the bartenders by first name and they all know him as the weird drunk guy. Lucky for him a nice young Philippino peanut has helped him settle down a little and keep him from urinating in other peoples refrigerators OR freezers but that is another story for another time (look for a posting on August 1, 2009).

Lucky for us he hasn’t lost touch with his good friends, although Ryley has gone softer than usual and can go months without being seen or heard from, his other friends keep a close tab on him.

These videos recently surfaced from the dangerous streets of Chicago. One week ago today Jon was spotted at a Jim and Ruger version of the Roogs band at The Irish Oak Bar near Wrigleyville. On pace with history, he had a few too many and stole the microphone for this performance of The State Song.

2009_0418 - Roogs Live in Chicago